i dunno whats happening to me breasts now. its kinda swollen.. but from the inside. kalau dari luar, looks normal. takut lah.
semalam kak una cerita dia kena cyst. :( kesian kokna.. benda tu besar 3.4cm dlm rahim. i hope its nothing serious.
aku rasa dlm masa terdekat ni nak kena check la. if kena refer ke hospital.. aku pegi la. takut.. :(
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
my sayang cut his hair :p
dah lama tak update, since 'kejadian' tu. alhamdulillah, things are better now, between me and him that is. we dont argue anymore, and i think his love for me rose even deeper. (well he'd better be hehe kidding sayang).
aku tanak lagi benda tu ulang lagi, tak kisah la aku atau dia yang buat, tapi ada hikmah di sebalik apa yang berlaku. aku belajar banyak lagi pasal diri dia, rasa mcm baru start relationship. aku rasa masih banyak lagi yg dia tak kenal aku. dan aku pun belajar banyak benda.. aku tak sangka aku boleh tolerate dgn benda tu. aku happy sbb aku berjaya kept myself cool, calm and collected. alhamdulillah..
hari tu aku kecoh sgt tak dapat kredit kad. ingatkan maybank tanak approve. sekali dah dapat kat umah.. cantek gile oke kad dia hahaha. very the stylish. buat aku rasa nak swipe je. tapi aku tanak beli apa.. aku nak beli lens seketul je.. lain takmo.. takde duit. tadi baru dpt gaji bulan januari.. ada la dalam RM2.1k. aku dah withdraw 500.. bg kat abah 100, insuran 100, duit kain kat mak 200, transfer kat ambank 200.. duit besday present abah 136.. bayar celcom 135.. tup tap tup tap tinggal RM900 je dlm bank. whoa!!! dasat!! aku tak bayar lagi bil TM bln ni.. mampus la.. tinggal baper je leh pakai.. itu pun sebaik dpt duit aga khan 400.. kalu tak mgm tinggal 500 je la dlm bank hahha.. aku mmg kena cari duit lebih taun ni... sbb nya.. dah nak pindah umah.. at least aku nak bayar 200/month.. pastu.. aku nak kena buat wardrobe.. and mak pun dah nak pencen.. aku nak bagi kat mak gak nanti bln2.. busuk2 RM100 gak la.. insya allah.. doa2 ada rezeki lebih taun ni..
ari ni pes taim tgk R poton rambut ala gay. hahahhaahaha sorry sayang cant help it. i laughed my ass off the first time i saw him. bukan pasal kelakar but i was sooooooooo shocked and amazed to see my sayang changed a bit. but he still as charming.. :) nanti kita pi jalan sopping beli baju opis ayg eh? org pilih tau...
oh yea.. last thursday (17 Jan) kak shima selamat lahirkan baby girl kat hospital ampang.. its a gomen hospital. syukur alhamdulillah.. the next day (Friday) kitorg gi la visit, thot nak tengok la baby dia.. bila kitorg pegi.. anak dia takde kat tepi dia.. eh cam sedih gak la..sbb dia kena cucuk kat tulang belakang 4 kali.. epidural tak jadi.. adoiiii sakit tulang belakang aku dengar!! bodow nye spital.. bila diorg letak pisau kat perut dia.. dia rasa sakit. 4 kali try pastu rasa sakit lagi. adussssssssssss pedisssssssss aku dengar.
pastuh.. mebi sbb epidural tak jalan dgn kak shima siap kena morfin.. baby dia ada breathing prob. lung infection kot. kalau aku la.. mmg aku saman spital tu. sbbnye bila k shima tanya pasal baby dia.. semua tak jawab. bleh ke camtu?? aku harap kak shima strong enough to go thru all these.. i know she is.. aku nak call dia pun takut kacau.. i know shes sad and all tp aku tak mau kaco dia.. biar la kak bedah yg update kitorg.. doesnt mean that i dont care.. i do.. of course i do. hope everything will be ok sooner or later.
skang kat ompis pun tetiba jadi busy sbb ada event bulan depan. dah start kuar invitations and all.. and agak impromptu sbb Z lambat update. hmm.. no comment. harap2 tak la jadi serabut sbb kat opis ni tinggal 5 orang je nak handle semua benda.. fuh fuh!
aku tanak lagi benda tu ulang lagi, tak kisah la aku atau dia yang buat, tapi ada hikmah di sebalik apa yang berlaku. aku belajar banyak lagi pasal diri dia, rasa mcm baru start relationship. aku rasa masih banyak lagi yg dia tak kenal aku. dan aku pun belajar banyak benda.. aku tak sangka aku boleh tolerate dgn benda tu. aku happy sbb aku berjaya kept myself cool, calm and collected. alhamdulillah..
hari tu aku kecoh sgt tak dapat kredit kad. ingatkan maybank tanak approve. sekali dah dapat kat umah.. cantek gile oke kad dia hahaha. very the stylish. buat aku rasa nak swipe je. tapi aku tanak beli apa.. aku nak beli lens seketul je.. lain takmo.. takde duit. tadi baru dpt gaji bulan januari.. ada la dalam RM2.1k. aku dah withdraw 500.. bg kat abah 100, insuran 100, duit kain kat mak 200, transfer kat ambank 200.. duit besday present abah 136.. bayar celcom 135.. tup tap tup tap tinggal RM900 je dlm bank. whoa!!! dasat!! aku tak bayar lagi bil TM bln ni.. mampus la.. tinggal baper je leh pakai.. itu pun sebaik dpt duit aga khan 400.. kalu tak mgm tinggal 500 je la dlm bank hahha.. aku mmg kena cari duit lebih taun ni... sbb nya.. dah nak pindah umah.. at least aku nak bayar 200/month.. pastu.. aku nak kena buat wardrobe.. and mak pun dah nak pencen.. aku nak bagi kat mak gak nanti bln2.. busuk2 RM100 gak la.. insya allah.. doa2 ada rezeki lebih taun ni..
ari ni pes taim tgk R poton rambut ala gay. hahahhaahaha sorry sayang cant help it. i laughed my ass off the first time i saw him. bukan pasal kelakar but i was sooooooooo shocked and amazed to see my sayang changed a bit. but he still as charming.. :) nanti kita pi jalan sopping beli baju opis ayg eh? org pilih tau...
oh yea.. last thursday (17 Jan) kak shima selamat lahirkan baby girl kat hospital ampang.. its a gomen hospital. syukur alhamdulillah.. the next day (Friday) kitorg gi la visit, thot nak tengok la baby dia.. bila kitorg pegi.. anak dia takde kat tepi dia.. eh cam sedih gak la..sbb dia kena cucuk kat tulang belakang 4 kali.. epidural tak jadi.. adoiiii sakit tulang belakang aku dengar!! bodow nye spital.. bila diorg letak pisau kat perut dia.. dia rasa sakit. 4 kali try pastu rasa sakit lagi. adussssssssssss pedisssssssss aku dengar.
pastuh.. mebi sbb epidural tak jalan dgn kak shima siap kena morfin.. baby dia ada breathing prob. lung infection kot. kalau aku la.. mmg aku saman spital tu. sbbnye bila k shima tanya pasal baby dia.. semua tak jawab. bleh ke camtu?? aku harap kak shima strong enough to go thru all these.. i know she is.. aku nak call dia pun takut kacau.. i know shes sad and all tp aku tak mau kaco dia.. biar la kak bedah yg update kitorg.. doesnt mean that i dont care.. i do.. of course i do. hope everything will be ok sooner or later.
skang kat ompis pun tetiba jadi busy sbb ada event bulan depan. dah start kuar invitations and all.. and agak impromptu sbb Z lambat update. hmm.. no comment. harap2 tak la jadi serabut sbb kat opis ni tinggal 5 orang je nak handle semua benda.. fuh fuh!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
seribu tahun
Seribu Tahun - Imran Ajmain
Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku akan selama ini
Biar berputar ke arah selatan ku tak putus harapan
Sedia setia
Relaku mengejarmu seribu batu jauh lagi
Tapi benarkah kaki ku-kan tahan sepanjang jalan ini
Biar membisu burung bersiulan tenanglah gelombang lautan
Ku masih setia
Adakah engkau tahu… ini cinta
Adakah engkau pasti… ini untuk selama-lamanya
Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku akan selama ini… yeah…
Biar berputar utara selatan ku tak putus harapan
Sedia setia
Jangan putus harapan… sedia setia……
sedihnya lagu ni.. mcm kena je dgn situation kitorg skang.. rasa mcm nak repeat dngr lagu ni 10 juta kali je. sayang.. mmg susah org nak lupakan ape yg dah jadi.. tapi org cube la ye sayang.. kita dua2 kena kuat.. kalau org tak kuat.. org harap dia dpt kuatkan orang.. kalau dia tak kuat.. org kuatkan dia.. kita membesar sihat dan kuat bagaikan juara! hehehe mwah2..
malam isnin tu kitorg tak tido.. sesi soal jawab n sesi mengaku mcm2.. aku malas nak tulis kat sini.. but one thing i know is sure its going to be hard for me to forget.. of course i forgive him.. sbb benda ni jadi masa kitorg baru nak start rapat.. tp kalau jadi bila aku dgn dia dah couple.. tak tau la nak ckp.. lagi payah aku nak telan kot.. haihh.. aku harap aku cukup kuat nak face semua ni.. mmg senang nak suruh lupa.. easier said than done.. tapi.. aku cuba lah.. everybody makes mistakes.. aku pun ada buat salah.. sedangkan aku pun tak la baik mana.. sbb tu aku tak berkeras pun.. aku tau masa tu dia tak cukup kuat nak melawan segala.. takpe sayang.. org ada kat sini.. apa2 pun jadi kita share.. baik buruk dia org terima.. susah senang kita sama2.. org harap dia tak menyalahguna trust org kat dia dah lepas ni.. kalau jadi gak camni.. wallahua'lam...ayg jgn ckp org baik ke apa.. org bkn baik.. im just being rational and tolerate.. ada benda yg kita boleh tolerate.. and ada time yg kita takleh bagi muka sgt kat orang.. nanti kena pijak. bila kena pijak, kita yang sakit. bila kita sakit, ada ke orang yg kisah? i know u wont hurt me anymore again sayang.. i trust in you.. kita doa sama2.. bg jodoh kuat.. org nak ada kwek-kwek dgn dia.. mesti comel sbb mak abah die pun comel.. :) im looking forward for the future syg.. i love u so much..
Monday, January 14, 2008
lelaki itu.. dan perempuan ini..
Lelaki(Perempuan) Ini
Kasih, kenanganku
Ingatkah saat saat dulu
Kasih, apakah dirimu
Merasakan semua ituKe mana pun langkahku pergi
Ku masih melihat bayanganmu cintaku
Dan kemana pun arah anginku berlari
Hati ini masih kau milikiLelaki(perempuan) ini yang selalu mencintamu
Selalu, tanpa ragu
Lelaki(perempuan) ini yang selalu memuja
Hanya dirimu
Yang bertakhta dalam sanubariku
Sanubari ku
Aku yang mencintakan mu
Hanya dirimu…Karena cintaku, tak berbatas waktu
Karena cintaku, tak mengenal jenuh hatimu
Hatimu…sayang.. i love u so much.. if only i cud tell the whole world how grateful i am to be with u.. i would.. :( please dont do this to me sayang.. please dont take me for granted.. please open up your eyes and see how faithful i am to you.. please appreciate me and dont treat me the way i shudnt be treated.. org syg sgt kat dia.. no words can describe my feelings to you..
kekadang aku pikir.. ada betulnya org ckp kalau kita syg org tu.. kita kena let him go. tapi in this case, aku tak mampu. aku tak daya. aku syg sgt kat dia. nak let him go to whom? no one owns him but him, himself. i hope he knows how deep my love for him.. sayang.. i hope everything will be back to normal and lets just pretend like yesternight never happened :(
....
Tompi - Cinta Yang Kucari.
meski ku sadari cintaku padamu
penuh kesalahan
aku tlah mendua tlah melupakanmu
abaikan cintamu kuyakin kau tahu
akan segalanya
tiada salah yg telah kau perbuat
hanya keraguanku
apakah kau cinta yg aku tunggu
apakah kau rindu dalam mimpiku
maafkan aku
‘pabila mungkin saat semua berubah
kuharapkan rasa sayang itu tetap ada
reff: dan jangan berakhir cintamu padaku
sungguh ku tak mau kau jauh dariku
maafkan segala raguku padamu
kini kusadari cinta yang kucari
meski ku sadari cintaku padamu
penuh kesalahan
aku tlah mendua tlah melupakanmu
abaikan cintamu kuyakin kau tahu
akan segalanya
tiada salah yg telah kau perbuat
hanya keraguanku
apakah kau cinta yg aku tunggu
apakah kau rindu dalam mimpiku
maafkan aku
‘pabila mungkin saat semua berubah
kuharapkan rasa sayang itu tetap ada
reff: dan jangan berakhir cintamu padaku
sungguh ku tak mau kau jauh dariku
maafkan segala raguku padamu
kini kusadari cinta yang kucari
...
taktau la apsal tangan aku gatal nak check phone R mlm tadi. i know i wasnt supposed to but something kept telling me to do so. haih..
skang aku yg nyesal. nyesal sbb R ckp aku tak sepatutnya tahu benda tu and takut benda tu akan keep haunting us for the rest of our lives. aku tak tau mcm mana nak ckp but i think ive said whatever i should to him in the car just now. dont ever put me in par with his ex wife, im not like her, like totally. im very much aware of the consequences of being with a super nice guy filled with pheromone which sometimes scares me to death. but, thats the thing that i must cope and live with and so far, this is the first encounter, with someone's wife. i think i know who she is but i dont dare to reveal her name.. let that be untold.
to be frank, i was shocked because i had never thought i wud read such messages in his hp. never crossed my mind, ever. but i kept myself at ease, pulled all strength i had and i managed to keep myself cool. i know i had been rational enough just now. i was not mad at him, not even a tiny bit. i know hes charming and thats what make others drool. in a way, im happy that hes with me n not with others. im blessed :)
i will not let this matter haunt us in any way anymore. we've had enough in our past lives and i will not anything ruin our relationship. sayang, if ure reading this, i just want u to know that i love u so much that it makes me cry sometimes. i cant even bear the thought of losing you. i will not let you go no matter what. im not mad at you sayang.. i trust you. and now i love you even more coz i know you love me and you will not let me go. i really hope one day we cud be together, no matter what happens. :|
i hope things will get to normal as soon as possible.. i know ure mad at me coz yeah, i dont have the rights to check all your stuff but i cudnt help it. im sorry sayang.. :~(
mungkin ni satu pengajaran la kat aku.. jgn pandai2 usik brg org.. even abah pun tak suka mak usik hp dia. tak tau la ada hidden agenda ke apa. but rship is based on trust. without trust, rship means nothing. aku nak janji kat diri sendiri.. from now on, i will not ask him whoever calls/text or even touch his things without his permission. lagipun.. im no one :) not even his wife. who am i to say no to anything that he does? i have no rights to know, enquire, ask, or anything. im just a plain, stubborn girl with anxious heart. sometimes i do things beyond my border. and now i know that ive gone overboard. i dunno whether R will ever trust me again.. :(
ntah lah.. aku pun bnyk kekurangan.. tak semua org perfect.. aku pun tak pernah mintak someone perfect to be my significant other sbb aku tau mmg takkan wujud manusia perfect selain nabi. skang ni segala kekurangan dan kelebihan R, aku terima. aku terima sbb aku syg dia.. tp.. aku tak tau dia boleh terima ke tak kekurangan aku.. aku bnyk sgt yg kurang.. kurang tinggi.. kurang pandai.. kurang gaji.. kurang asam pun ada gak kekadang.. kurang prihatin.. kurang bg perhatian.. tak pandai pujuk.. aku mungkin jugak ego tapi aku tak perasan.. aku cepat marah.. tp aku tak penah dendam.. aku tak penah simpan.. hmm tak cantik.. tak lawa.. kurang dari banyak segi.. apa yg dia nampak kt aku pn aku tak tau.. i hope hes sincere..
kekadang aku fedap nak ada rship.. tp bkn sbb laki.. sbb aku sendiri. aku tak pandai jaga rship.. for things like this.. i really knw that im the one who shud be blamed. kekadang aku takut kalau rship aku tak ke mana.. sbb aku tak yakin dgn diri sendiri.. walaupun aku ckp aku nak strive jd yg terbaik utk sesapa.. aku selalu fail. mungkin tuhan nak balas dosa aku kat DIA selama ni. aku bnyk lupa DIA...
skang aku yg nyesal. nyesal sbb R ckp aku tak sepatutnya tahu benda tu and takut benda tu akan keep haunting us for the rest of our lives. aku tak tau mcm mana nak ckp but i think ive said whatever i should to him in the car just now. dont ever put me in par with his ex wife, im not like her, like totally. im very much aware of the consequences of being with a super nice guy filled with pheromone which sometimes scares me to death. but, thats the thing that i must cope and live with and so far, this is the first encounter, with someone's wife. i think i know who she is but i dont dare to reveal her name.. let that be untold.
to be frank, i was shocked because i had never thought i wud read such messages in his hp. never crossed my mind, ever. but i kept myself at ease, pulled all strength i had and i managed to keep myself cool. i know i had been rational enough just now. i was not mad at him, not even a tiny bit. i know hes charming and thats what make others drool. in a way, im happy that hes with me n not with others. im blessed :)
i will not let this matter haunt us in any way anymore. we've had enough in our past lives and i will not anything ruin our relationship. sayang, if ure reading this, i just want u to know that i love u so much that it makes me cry sometimes. i cant even bear the thought of losing you. i will not let you go no matter what. im not mad at you sayang.. i trust you. and now i love you even more coz i know you love me and you will not let me go. i really hope one day we cud be together, no matter what happens. :|
i hope things will get to normal as soon as possible.. i know ure mad at me coz yeah, i dont have the rights to check all your stuff but i cudnt help it. im sorry sayang.. :~(
mungkin ni satu pengajaran la kat aku.. jgn pandai2 usik brg org.. even abah pun tak suka mak usik hp dia. tak tau la ada hidden agenda ke apa. but rship is based on trust. without trust, rship means nothing. aku nak janji kat diri sendiri.. from now on, i will not ask him whoever calls/text or even touch his things without his permission. lagipun.. im no one :) not even his wife. who am i to say no to anything that he does? i have no rights to know, enquire, ask, or anything. im just a plain, stubborn girl with anxious heart. sometimes i do things beyond my border. and now i know that ive gone overboard. i dunno whether R will ever trust me again.. :(
ntah lah.. aku pun bnyk kekurangan.. tak semua org perfect.. aku pun tak pernah mintak someone perfect to be my significant other sbb aku tau mmg takkan wujud manusia perfect selain nabi. skang ni segala kekurangan dan kelebihan R, aku terima. aku terima sbb aku syg dia.. tp.. aku tak tau dia boleh terima ke tak kekurangan aku.. aku bnyk sgt yg kurang.. kurang tinggi.. kurang pandai.. kurang gaji.. kurang asam pun ada gak kekadang.. kurang prihatin.. kurang bg perhatian.. tak pandai pujuk.. aku mungkin jugak ego tapi aku tak perasan.. aku cepat marah.. tp aku tak penah dendam.. aku tak penah simpan.. hmm tak cantik.. tak lawa.. kurang dari banyak segi.. apa yg dia nampak kt aku pn aku tak tau.. i hope hes sincere..
kekadang aku fedap nak ada rship.. tp bkn sbb laki.. sbb aku sendiri. aku tak pandai jaga rship.. for things like this.. i really knw that im the one who shud be blamed. kekadang aku takut kalau rship aku tak ke mana.. sbb aku tak yakin dgn diri sendiri.. walaupun aku ckp aku nak strive jd yg terbaik utk sesapa.. aku selalu fail. mungkin tuhan nak balas dosa aku kat DIA selama ni. aku bnyk lupa DIA...
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
welcome 2008!
wheeeee.. its the first day of 2008! welcome new year, bye bye 2007. rasa mcm baru je makan prosperity burger last year bulan 1.. tetibe ni dah kuar balik. pejam celik je.. aku dah 26 taun ni. aduss.. dem. dah halfway lepas 20-an. hahaha. thank god i DONT look that OLD, YET! hehe.
ari ni aku abiskan edit album. satu hari ngadap pc, dari pagi smpi mlm. tapi petang sempat pi shah alam, gi amik bagpack aku tertinggal kat umah sis wani. went to SACC mall, makan kat asiari. sedap giles food kat situ. highly recommended. balik mlm.. sambung edit smpi nak termuntah.
ari ni tak jumpa R. dia kemas rumah, buat segala benda yg dia pending etc. sian dia.. aku rasa aku banyak curi masa dia. takpela.. start taun ni.. dia dah start kelas.. aku kurang la jumpa dia. hope it helps. and kalau boleh aku nak buat segala kerja edit tu.. tanak bebankan dia. takpelah, few weddings left.. pastu cuti.. sbb takde wedding til march.
tadi on the phone dgn dia, dia cite la yg umi ada sebut pasal OUR wedding nanti should be like this and that. hahaha. i cud hear a sound of happiness in his voice. :) yeay.. at least dah lampu kuning. cucuk2 skit lagi.. dah lampu hijau. pelan2 kayuh.. hehe..
so, whats my resolutions for this year? as i said, malas nak create any. its not that i have no goals, but i dont want to plan something and realizing that i dont really achieve anything at the end of the year. u get what i mean? i just have few things in mind, which is more GENERAL. i want to be a better person; be it to my family, my boss, my colleagues, and to be more successful and more perserverance this year.. and insya allah, tanak tinggal solat. :)
da!
ari ni aku abiskan edit album. satu hari ngadap pc, dari pagi smpi mlm. tapi petang sempat pi shah alam, gi amik bagpack aku tertinggal kat umah sis wani. went to SACC mall, makan kat asiari. sedap giles food kat situ. highly recommended. balik mlm.. sambung edit smpi nak termuntah.
ari ni tak jumpa R. dia kemas rumah, buat segala benda yg dia pending etc. sian dia.. aku rasa aku banyak curi masa dia. takpela.. start taun ni.. dia dah start kelas.. aku kurang la jumpa dia. hope it helps. and kalau boleh aku nak buat segala kerja edit tu.. tanak bebankan dia. takpelah, few weddings left.. pastu cuti.. sbb takde wedding til march.
tadi on the phone dgn dia, dia cite la yg umi ada sebut pasal OUR wedding nanti should be like this and that. hahaha. i cud hear a sound of happiness in his voice. :) yeay.. at least dah lampu kuning. cucuk2 skit lagi.. dah lampu hijau. pelan2 kayuh.. hehe..
so, whats my resolutions for this year? as i said, malas nak create any. its not that i have no goals, but i dont want to plan something and realizing that i dont really achieve anything at the end of the year. u get what i mean? i just have few things in mind, which is more GENERAL. i want to be a better person; be it to my family, my boss, my colleagues, and to be more successful and more perserverance this year.. and insya allah, tanak tinggal solat. :)
da!
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