lamanya.

aku semakin rajin dan malas. rajin buat kerja. tu pun sbb terpaksa. dah dekat seminggu aku balik malam. damn you PETRONAS! tapi aku makin malas nak buat kerja kat rumah. dulu sebelum pindah, aku rasa aku akan jadi rajin. tapi tu semua ayat2 yang nak sedapkan hati sendiri.

pejam celik aku dah nak kawin. pejam celik lagi 3-4 bulan. ready kah aku? walaupun sebenarnya aku rasa aku tak layak jadi bini orang, tapi i take it as a challenge. im twenty-fucking-six already.
bercakap pasal umur, aku rasa aku semakin jauh. kita bukan semakin muda, tapi semakin banyak umur, semakin dekat kita dengan-Nya. walaupun kita tak tahu bila tiba masa kita, but naturally, thats how people perceive. tazkirah di pagi hari jumaat betul2 meninggalkan kesan kpd aku. ready kah aku?

tazkirah pagi tadi aku cuba nak relatekan dengan mimpi sedih malam tadi. aku mimpi aku bercakap dgn 'arwah' abah. abah cakap dia happy dapat lalu tali siratulmustakim dgn laju sekali. i was like. 'abah, are u dead????' masa tu kat rumah kosong yg dah roboh, aku tak tau rumah sape. tiba2 aku nampak tangan. bila aku approach, it was abah's hand! tiba2 next scene, i saw mom crying bitterly. somehow i knew that this dream is trying to tell me something. something that i am not sure of. and there, standing behind me, a tall man trying to comfort me. i do not know who the heck he was. haih.

i wish to be a good daughter. i wish i knew myself better.

now its open session with my kekasih. dah lama tak open up. its about time.

im scared.

sakit perot

hmm.. i think ive skipped blogging for few days. thanks for my piling workload.

lemme update. on 2/5 ari tu.. we've finally moved to KJ. mmg penat.. dekat seminggu dok mengemas.. pack n unload. bila dah masuk kj.. kena kemas2 lagi. very the tiring. tu pun nasib baik la mak panggil indon2 dtg tlg (with minimal pay of course) and orang2 kuat (menantu2 dan bakal menantu) dtg tlg. kebetulan ja and aizad pun ada.. kurangla skit beban. abah dah tak larat.. sian kt dia.

ari isnin tu aku mcm sakit gile pinggang. actually my whole body ache like hell. i knew ive been abusing my body.. siann kt aku. huk. tp takpela.. i hate to see things not in order. still tak abis kemas lagi tapi ok la.. tinggal nak tebuk dinding n tampal2 je apa yg patut ditampal.


tuesday, 6 may
smlm lunchtime aku gi visit roslen kt hukm. gi asing2 dgn ex2 opismet. ramai gak yg gi visit dia. sedih je tgk dia.. tgh sihat2 tetiba jd camtu. anytime je tuhan tarik nikmat Dia kan? :( but she's in good condition.. stable. doc dah amik air tulang blkg dia.. adoi la.. aku dgr pun ngeri. i was supposed to go through the same process but i refused. aku tanak la.. :( tak berani. i hope my blood is ok now.

balik umah smlm kitorg gi TTDI beli plastik utk ayuni n gi OU. beli brg sket n mkn koay teow sup. ayg mkn sushi dia lagi. hehe. comel jepp. pastu kitorg buang tebiat mkn durian kat situ jugak hehe.

ok lah. ari ni dah rabu. its gonna be a long month.. too many activities, meetings and programs!! kekadang fedap pun ada.. i need a damn breakkkkkkkkkk

jumaat yang gloomy

hari ni hari jumaat. smlm 1st may, sume org cuti, which also marks the 33rd anniversary of mak n abah. whoaa.. lama gila kawin :) semoga mak dan abah kekal bahagia (hiccups di sana sini adalah perkara biasa dlm perkahwinan). mak is a strong woman, despite abah's unpredictableness. nonetheless, i love them both :)

smlm gak pagi2 aku dah ajak ayg gi cari cincin. huk. dekat 2 jam setengah gak la gi habib ampang point tu. ramai gak orang.. sama mcm bln 12 kitorg gi dulu. ari tu beli cincin dia.. and it was my turn yesterday. punyala susah aku nak pilih cincin.. one is 1800 and another is 900. separuh harga tu beza! tp ayg insist nak beli yg 1.8k tu.. well.. he's lucky im not into jewelleries.. so cincin kawin kena beli yg besh sbb considered 'one-time' purchase.. (tak tau la kalau2 dah tua nanti tetiba tersuka pulak cincin kan hehe). dont worry sayang.. i will try not to bazir duit to buy all those blingbling.

lepas tu kitorg gi kajang.. umi ajak makan ramai2. segan gak la.. tp wat mcm biasa jek hehehe. umi masak gulai udang tempoyak dgn sayur lemak labu + ikan bawal dgn sambal. fuhfuh sedap! lama tak mkn ikan bawal sambal tu. sheila pun ada.. lepas mkn layan cite jgn pdg blkg. tak pnah tgk pun cite tu. tak minat. tp layan je la.

kul 4 kitorg chow.. gi homedec. sakit kaki aku jalan kat situ sbb mcm besar jek tpt tu. tp takde hasil.. tak bes sgt la.. aku nak cari wardrobe tapi takde plak. ikea dah panggil hehehe.

skang ni duit dlm BR tu pun dah merosot. 2k dah abis kt cincin jek. hadoi. which tells that we need to struggle to earn more for our wedding, and our future of course. ayang, apa2 pun kite sama2 keh? huk. and we'll be losing another 1.6k for the new wardrobe. haih. its kinda depressing to think abt money at this mo, pagi jumaat. sgt malas nak bekerja. my body is here but mind is somewhere else. maybe at ayang's :p

mlm ni mesti aku penat gila. its moving out time! fuhfuh god pls gimme energy!!

hari ini saya rajin!

hari ni aku bgn mcm biasa, 540. terus mandi. mcm biasa, malas nak iron baju. main amik je baju. sebaik smlm dah iron suar buruk kelabu asap tu.

pastu aku asyik teringat dlm blog ikin.. dia buat 'egg -in-a-hole'. bunyi mcm pervert. but the pic in her blog looked so tempting!

i was planning to take a nap but I stayed up instead. aku bukak blog dia balik, tgk cara2 buat roti tu. mmg dia tak tulis, dia mention sikit je. aku pun pegi dapo, terus semangat buat. aku sapu marjerin kat roti, baru buat bulat kat tengah2 tu. patut pakai cookie cutter but since i dont have one, aku potong je pakai pisau. pastu aku pun panaskan la roti tu. tp mcm bodow gak la sbb aku terlupa nak letak minyak masa goreng roti tu. hampeh. pastu bila dah kunin2 skit, aku letak telur kat tengah2. it was fun! hahaha.. lama siot aku tak masak. its not abt cooking that's fun, tapi sbb im doing something new. and its been ages since i last cooked. damn. well i consider it 'cooking' even i only fried the bread + egg.

aku buat 2 keping. the next loaf tu aku buat lawa sikit. practice makes perfect. hahaha. im so happy i tried the 'egg-in-a-hole' today. :D
ari ni kitorg plan nak lunch beramai2.. tp yg muda2 je. malas nak ajak yg lain.. tak sama wavelength. yg join ptg nt.. azrul, liyana, ainiz, trainees, syamir. fariz tak reply lg nak join ke tak. tp ok la tu.. dah meriah dah. pg nnt aku nak kena book nando's. huuhuh sdapnyehh

monday blues

ngantuknya pagi ni. padahal smlm takdela lambat sgt tido (simptom malas pegi kerja hari isnin). ari ni pun mendung semacam je.. sama mcm mood aku hehe.

rasa mcm cepat sgt masa berlalu.. rasa mcm baru je jumaat malam.. which i love the most.. sbb ada 2 hari utk rehat.. tp rehat sgt ke aku? huuhuh..

sabtu baru ni ayg dah bitau kat umi pasal kitorg.. :) yeay.. finally! hehehe.. kiranya stage kitorg skang cam dah start and panaskan engine.. tinggal nak accelerate je.. which is soon insya allah.

we will start planning for our big day soon. tp tunggu lepas aku pindah umah.. isk nak pindah ni pun satu hal. tak kemas apa pun sgt lagi huk :(

ok la.. dah nak start kerja dah.. tp nak makan roti dulu. hehe.

hmph

takde apa pun nak dicerita. pagi ni tgh sedap mimpi dlm lrt.. tetiba ada buku jatuh atas riba aku. sakit nak mampus! akak yg diri kat dpn aku tu ckp sorry. tu takpe lagi. tp aku mmg tekejut la.. mase tu kt stesen kl sentral dah. (kacau je aku nak tido) pastu aku sambung tido. sekali buku tu jatuh atas riba aku lagi. mangkuk ayun! waaaaaaa tensen2! last2 aku bgn, suruh dia duduk. tp ayat aku mcm kasar skit. "duduk la duduk" hhahha isk kejam plak. tp dia pun satu. kalau dah tau takleh nak grip palang besi tu sape suruh bace buku dlm lrt!? eeeeee!!!

potong btul la. haih. harap2 ari ni aku tak stress la.. kena call rozana CPDD tanya dia available ke tak on 9th-10th for away day. huhu. now i take the lead. i dare not to but i have to. dah keja aku camtu. dem. hope everything will run smooth.. amin!

and aku kena start buat weekly report. aku tak start lagi. skang nak kena korek balik kat mana aku tulis daily task aku. haduh.

smlm igt nak edit gambar linda. tp tak larat la. tp gambar syamsul dah siap la. lorat la jantan tu. tunang dia pon sama. aku dah ckp delivery 2 minggu.. ni baru seminggu dah kecoh. huh!

hish pepagi dah penuh dgn hatred. huk.

writers block!

hmm.. pepagi ni dah kena writers block. words couldnt come. kena buat write up for monday's speakers corner. haih. im not a writer u see.. but i gotta write. its part of my tasks. but so far im surviving. its not so hard. i just gotta push myself harder. kena banyak baca article la pasni. nak goreng tu pun dah sepasal. smlm bday ayg. sian dia tak bg apa pun.. banjer tgk gambus goes latin kat philharmonik jep. the show was awesome, really worth every penny spent. tp syg nye aku ngantuk gila sbb mlm before tu tido lmbt gilos. first time jejak kaki kat situ.. impressive! lighting sume cun. not forgetting farid ali and the gang, but the percussionist yg buat the show tu livelier. ade ke ketuk percussion dgn siku. pastu muka penuh perasaan je hehehe.. hari ni pun mcm moody je dtg keje. smlm ckp kat ayg.. rasa semacam je kat ofis smlm. mebi sbb monday tu aku MC and no one was around to assist czy to do presentation to VP. hmm salah aku ke pun? and all presentation slides dah ready utk geko tu. tp satu je aku risau.. banner + poster + away day. huuhhu.. mebi gak czy marah sbb aku decline tanak lead utk away day. haih. all these things keep buggin in my head. hopefully hari ni all things will go well, since cza oso nt around (i hope so!!) :p ayang.. nnt kite spend time sama2, kita haf a deep chat yeh? kite cite pasal life.. pasal future.. pasal kite.. org tau org banyak push ayang benda2 tu sume.. cant help it hehehe.. org pun harap rship org dgn ayg diberkati.. banyak benda yg org nak borapp dgn ayg huk. btw hope u had fun last nite.. sorry syg.. org tak reti nak plan surprise ke apa ke.. nanti kite plan mcm2 lg tau.. or maybe we do things we never do before :) (kalau dah kawin lg senang hehe).

hmm i'll try find some time early in the morning everyday (insya allah) to continue babbling in my blog. sian blog dah bersarang. gotta get back to work.